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Add comedic genius to President Obama’s growing list of honorific monikers. The jester-in-chief tested some of his brand new material on the Business Roundtable executives yesterday, to rave reviews.
When wearing his Stand Up Comic hat, the President is known to deliver snide, irreverent, and always hilarious bits dripping with sarcasm and B.O.’s famous sardonic wit. Yesterday’s afternoon set was no different.
In a sort of ask-the-audience exit poll, audience members were nearly unanimous in their choice of the President’s line, “I am an ardent believer in the free market” as the funniest.
Still struggling with composure, laugh-induced tears streaming down his face, an aging oil baron struggled to comment, his voice high and shrill as he fought continuing giggles. “Funniest damn thing I ever heard,” he stammered loudly. “This is the guy who nationalized GM and fired their president!”
Many see Obama’s recent material as a continuation of the solo straight-man/funny man act he’s employed since the 2008 campaign season; an act that has gotten progressively funnier since enjoying an actual legislative and policy making platform.
Paul Hankson of the Presidential Comedic Society commented on the practical differences between the humor of Obama the candidate, and Obama the President.
“On the campaign trail, we knew what he was getting at, and we could guess how he would govern, given the chance. But at that time the dichotomy was really limited to that between what policies he might embrace one day, and the self-descriptions he’d vocalize the next. The real hilarity began with post-election clips, posted primarily on the Internet, that showed banners and promises of “change” next to continued Bushist policies in the Middle East, hawkish foreign policy advisers hostile to sovereignty, and endless spending. It was business as usual despite the endless promises of “change.” That was the joke, and it was exciting to see people staring to get it.”
Asked about public outcry regarding the President saying one thing and doing the opposite, Hankson was unmoved. While some people appear to be upset and honestly think the President continues to lie when he makes assertions like those denying his love of socialism, claims that he is friendly to business and despises taking over private companies, Hankson calmly explained, “Listen, those people just don’t understand the reality. They think that breaking promises is dishonesty. But it’s not a lie–it’s just a funny bit he does. I mean be honest, how many times over the years have you heard someone say, ‘God, this president’s a joke?’
February 25th, 2010
Artus Register
9:10 - They’ve introduced the Emperor twice now
9:12 - <Choke> Obama just opened by referencing the U.S. Constitution
9:13 - Casual swipe at the Confederacy
9:14 - Setting the stage for the concept of we’re-all-in-this-together
9:15 - Lies begin about how EVERYONE agreed government “had to act” to save the economy. Announced that “the worst is over.” Those continuing to lose jobs are likely unaware of this..
9:15 - A few short minutes in he channels “for the children” and bi-partisanism.
9:16 - We’re all the same. Second mention of “the children.”
9:17 - He’s “never been more hopeful about America’s future.” <cue applause sign>
9:18 - ‘Division is bad’ (but he’ll spend the rest of the night deliberately being divisive). “People deserve a government that matches their decency” (no word on deserving a government that doesn’t put law abiding people and other non-aggressors in cages over plants and leaves.)
9:19 - He had to shore up the banks, but he HATED to do it. Poor guy. He said it three times.
9:20 - He did what needed to be done and he rescued the economy and made it transparent (though we still have no idea where the “bailout” money went because the Fed is still top secret)
9:20 - ‘We need bank fees’–the Democrats clap enthusiastically over the prospect a new tax!
9:21 - B.O. is suddenly opposed to the bonuses paid to bailed out firms, and they need to pay back “the taxpayers.” Hilarious stuff.
9:22 - “We cut taxes for 95% of working families,” then he named everyone who received one. No mention of the coming enormous tax increase in the form of hyper-inflation.
9:23 - Because of the steps “we took” two million Americans are presently employed who would be out of work. 1.5 million more jobs are on the way thanks to “The Recovery Act, aka the Stimulus Bill.” This is already getting hard to listen to.
9:24 - Stories about the awesomeness of the Recovery Act are unlimited, and things are speeding toward perfection.
9:25 - Despite the sheer awesomeness of the plan and execution, many are out of work. But now a call for a “Jobs Bill?” (Can’t wait.) “The true engine of job creation in this country will always be America’s businesses.” Wow. Really? “But government can create the conditions necessary for businesses to expand and hire more workers.” No word on removing the countless obstacles to business and job creation or the penalties for hiring a domestic worker.
9:27 - Billions more to the banks will create jobs because banks are only lending to big companies. Starved for profits, aren’t banks lending to any person of business that represents a good risk?
9: 29 - Tax credits to businesses (favored one’s, I’m sure). The broken clock finally gets something right: “Let’s eliminate all capital gains taxes on small business investment, and provide a tax incentive…to invest in new plants and equipment.”
9:31 - Put Americans to work on infrastructure. Referenced light rail plan in Tampa that will only work with subsidies that hide the true cost. The repeated references to ‘infrastructure’ and ‘clean energy’ sound a lot like FDR’s make-work nonsense that EXTENDED the depression. Anyone who doesn’t believe Washington wants to EXTEND this recession/depression must admit the only alternative view: this president is an idiot. There is no other way to look at the deliberate repeating of horrible mistakes.
9:33 - “…it is time to finally slash the tax breaks for companies that ship our jobs overseas, and give those tax breaks to companies that create jobs right here in the United States of America.” in Reality-Based English:
It’s time to penalize companies government has forced overseas, and put a tariff on their goods raising prices on American citizens who want to buy from American-owner companies. Brilliant.
9:36 - ‘The House has passed a bill granting government the authority to mess up the job situation further, and I encourage the Senate to do the same.’ Awesome.
9:38 - ‘People are out of work and they need our help’ Are you sure they don’t just need your boot off their necks?
Only government can help the unemployment situation that greed and the free market caused.
9:42 - ‘I was told addressing big issues like the economic road ahead was too ambitious. But I can solve any problem with Uncle Sam’s checkbook, and authority I don’t legally have.’
9:43 - Other nations are doing things and we will too, con sarnit! We aren’t going to wait. “As hard as it may be…it’s time to get serious about fixing the problems that are hampering our growth [except reducing the size, cost, and scope of government, those are perpetually good ideas].”
“One place to start is serious financial reform.” [Insert nonsense about what 'nearly brought down our economy]. Here comes the call for uber-regulation.
[Was away from keyboard for 8-10 minutes, but by the sound of my wife's groaning and yelling at the TV, I missed some really good (bad) stuff.]
9:57 - ‘We need to spend more tax payer money on community college.’
9:59 - ‘It is still vital that we socialize medicine. Let’s clear some things up. Here’s the deal (laughter indicates hilarity). The reason I took up this issue is because I’ve heard awful stories. The only way to improve health care is to force companies to do XY and Z. Increased competition that would offer enormous savings and better policies by eliminating the prohibition on companies selling to people in other states is a non-issue. The power of government is what’s important here. And although we have zero authority to do so, we’re going to keep fighting to nationalize medical care and hope the $1.2 trillion dollars it will cost will fall into our laps. Whatever the cost, I’m not walking away from [insert sad story].’
‘If you have a better idea, let me know (so I can pretend I didn’t hear it).’
[vomit break]
10:11 - Repeats the lie: “At the beginning of the last decade, America had a budget surplus of over $200 billion.” Yawn, then vomit. Refers to prior lie as ‘fact.’ Trillions in debt and the “surplus” fairy tale is still being told.
10:13 - ‘We added to the surplus but we had to because we needed to save the economy from the free market and greed. And remember, the bubble caused by state-mandated easy credit and manufactured wealth had nothing to do with government.’
10:52 - Mr. Obama just suggested that we “try common sense,” after pretending that his administration bears no responsibility for this massive deficit. He also said he hasn’t seated lobbyists in his administration, and has always been opposed to doing so, despite people like Eric Holder, Tom Vilsack, William Lynn, William Corr, David Hayes, Mark Patterson, Ron Klain, Mona Sutphen, Melody Barnes, Cecilia Munoz, Patrick Gaspard, Michael Strautmanis being tapped or seated.
That last blatant lie pushed me over the edge. I can’t hear anymore. There are simply too any blatant lies coming forth from my television, and it is sickening. In fairness, the SOTU Addresses held by the preceding president were equally dishonest and filled with as many infuriating calls for more government. I tire of the correcting the untruths, stomaching the lies, and listening to the poisoned concepts that government trumps freedom, and individualism is secondary to collectivism and statism. I’ve recorded the program and may tackle the remainder when I have recovered.
January 27th, 2010
Artus Register
Imagine an obsessive golfer claiming he hates the sport, or a typical shopaholic making bizarre statements about her hatred of finding a good deal. What would you think about your cousin, the reality TV junkie swearing she can’t stand the contrived, scripted nonsense she can’t miss a second of. Crap, right? And those above would be fairly categorized as liars, or crazy people.
Enter U.S. President and flawless messiah, Barack Obama.
Turns out, gaffing the economy, blaming everyone but the guilty (government), destroying industry, playing God, and attempting to outmaneuver umutable, natural laws is a dirty job, but, sadly, somebody’s got to do it.
That this latest incarnation of a state power is a liar is plain to see, and saying so should shock no one outside cave dwellings. But the blatancy has become similar to the examples in the opening paragraph. The latest whopper doubtless caused many a double take, and an instant did he really say that? check.
He doesn’t like to meddle in the free market.
During a another discourse in patent dishonesty, the unabashed socialist-cum-fascist made the following statements, presumably with a straight face:
If you could tell me right now that when I walked into this office, that the banks were humming, that autos were selling, and that all you had to worry about was Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea, getting health care passed, figuring out how to deal with energy independence, deal with Iran, and a pandemic flu, I would take that deal.
I want to disabuse people of this notion that somehow we enjoy, you know, meddling in the private sector.
The best way to accomplish such a feat would be to stop doing it, or at least stop smiling as you pillage away accomplishment and pretend to wield more power than the natural laws of mathematics, economics, and human desire.
And that’s why I’m always amused when I hear these, you know, criticisms of, oh, you know, Obama wants to grow government. No. I would love a nice, lean portfolio to deal with, but that’s not the hand that’s been dealt us.
Yes, Mr. President, critics calling things exactly the way they exist in reality is hilarious. Laugh it up, buddy. History will rightly remember you as the destroyer of free enterprise, the man who murdered the greatest system in the greatest country in history. And you dealt the hand.
So Mr. Obama would take a deal that allowed him a little extra time to focus on complete economic fascism, and destruction of only these select areas of illegality? Of course he would. He’s in no hurry. The next crisis will afford government the opportunity to use it’s reverse-Midas Touch on other industries. What’s the rush? He has eight years to corral the entirety of the free market, and transform it into a motionless pile of socialist stagnation.
To paraphrase this insane megalomaniac:
If I could illegally use the power, might, and economic strength of this government to insert my opinion into places from which it is Constitutionally forbidden, pretend I am a king, rather than a President, continue illegal, undeclared wars and further weaken the dollar through unlawful nation building, pretend government can solve every issue and that I have extensive medical knowledge, uproot the medical ingenuity tree that is free market health care, blame everything possible on the concept of liberty, and use government to try to solve an energy issue that government created, I would.
I hate to meddle.
April 30th, 2009
Goathe