When wearing his Stand Up Comic hat, the President is known to deliver snide, irreverent, and always hilarious bits dripping with sarcasm and B.O.’s famous sardonic wit.  Yesterday’s afternoon set was no different.

In a sort of ask-the-audience exit poll, audience members were nearly unanimous in their choice of the President’s line, “I am an ardent believer in the free market” as the funniest.

Still struggling with composure, laugh-induced tears streaming down his face, an aging oil baron struggled to comment, his voice high and shrill as he fought continuing giggles. “Funniest damn thing I ever heard,” he stammered loudly.  “This is the guy who nationalized GM and fired their president!”

Many see Obama’s recent material as a continuation of the solo straight-man/funny man act he’s employed since the 2008 campaign season; an act that has gotten progressively funnier since enjoying an actual legislative and policy making platform.

Paul Hankson of the Presidential Comedic Society commented on the practical differences between the humor of Obama the candidate, and Obama the President.

“On the campaign trail, we knew what he was getting at, and we could guess how he would govern, given the chance. But at that time the dichotomy was really limited to that between what policies he might embrace one day, and the self-descriptions he’d vocalize the next. The real hilarity began with post-election clips, posted primarily on the Internet, that showed banners and promises of “change” next to continued Bushist policies in the Middle East, hawkish foreign policy advisers hostile to sovereignty, and endless spending.  It was business as usual despite the endless promises of “change.”  That was the joke, and it was exciting to see people staring to get it.”

Asked about public outcry regarding the President saying one thing and doing the opposite, Hankson was unmoved.  While some people appear to be upset and honestly think the President continues to lie when he makes assertions like those denying his love of socialism, claims that he is friendly to business and despises taking over private companies, Hankson calmly explained, “Listen, those people just don’t understand the reality. They think that breaking promises is dishonesty. But it’s not a lie–it’s just a funny bit he does.  I mean be honest, how many times over the years have you heard someone say, ‘God, this president’s a joke?’

As shocking is the belief that the bulk of money stolen collected by Washington is frittered away rather than used for some meaningful purpose.

On average, the public estimates that 53 cents of every tax dollar they send to Washington is “wasted.”

Comically, despite having an inverted Midas’ Touch in that everything the state comes in contact with turns into a putrid, steaming pile of wholly digested sustenance, government proposes to fix every problem, none more pressing than those created by government itself.  In order to repair that which is both in reality and imagination, broken, government forces the people to pay, regardless of the reality that less could easily be paid for better services or repairs on the open market.

So backward is the thinking of those that comprise government, that the disapproval itself will have to be addressed with a combination of increased revenues, and a surrender of additional liberties.

Note: In typical fashion, the referenced article, which started out making a serious and important point about the evolving attitude of Americans, once thought terminally complacent, shifted gears mentioning the manifestation of the angry and disenfranchised before equating the “tea party” movement with the quasi-statist, neo-neocon ramblings of alleged rogue Sarah Palin.  Ignoring the plain reality, the Post writers even suggested that Palin is the Tea Party crowd’s first choice for the GOP nomination in 2012.

Tucking into a pork chop with her husband, [M]s Fernández raised an eyebrow and declared that it was “all good”, adding that rumours of the meat’s aphrodisiac qualities “might be right”.

As an unapologetic socialist, it is doubtful that Ferdandez’ husband, former Argentine president Nestor Kirchner, ever needed any help screwing people. His wife, however, seems more comfortable lubricating her horrific ideas with attempted humor and pretended sexiness. The president used the quip about her alleged discovery of the surprising side-effects of grilled pork to soften the announcement that she is supporting government payments to farmers in exchange for not raising pigs.  So on the one hand, she is encouraging pork consumption, and on the other, her government is taking action to keep the price of the other white meat artificially elevated.

With the time up for repayment of $13 billion of debt, it may not be the best time for an increasingly unpopular head of state to introduce new spending programs. But it may be a great time for Argentinians to stop electing swine.

9:12 - <Choke> Obama just opened by referencing the U.S. Constitution

9:13 - Casual swipe at the Confederacy

9:14 - Setting the stage for the concept of we’re-all-in-this-together

9:15 - Lies begin about how EVERYONE agreed government “had to act” to save the economy. Announced that “the worst is over.” Those continuing to lose jobs are likely unaware of this..

9:15 - A few short minutes in he channels “for the children” and bi-partisanism.

9:16 - We’re all the same. Second mention of “the children.”

9:17 - He’s “never been more hopeful about America’s future.” <cue applause sign>

9:18 - ‘Division is bad’ (but he’ll spend the rest of the night deliberately being divisive).  “People deserve a government that matches their decency” (no word on deserving a government that doesn’t put law abiding people and other non-aggressors in cages over plants and leaves.)

9:19 - He had to shore up the banks, but he HATED to do it. Poor guy. He said it three times.

9:20 - He did what needed to be done and he rescued the economy and made it transparent (though we still have no idea where the “bailout” money went because the Fed is still top secret)

9:20 - ‘We need bank fees’–the Democrats clap enthusiastically over the prospect a new tax!

9:21 - B.O. is suddenly opposed to the bonuses paid to bailed out firms, and they need to pay back “the taxpayers.” Hilarious stuff.

9:22 - “We cut taxes for 95% of working families,” then he named everyone who received one. No mention of the coming enormous tax increase in the form of hyper-inflation.

9:23 - Because of the steps “we took” two million Americans are presently employed who would be out of work. 1.5 million more jobs are on the way thanks to “The Recovery Act, aka the Stimulus Bill.” This is already getting hard to listen to.

9:24 - Stories about the awesomeness of the Recovery Act are unlimited, and things are speeding toward perfection.

9:25 - Despite the sheer awesomeness of the plan and execution, many are out of work. But now a call for a “Jobs Bill?”  (Can’t wait.) “The true engine of job creation in this country will always be America’s businesses.” Wow. Really? “But government can create the conditions necessary for businesses to expand and hire more workers.” No word on removing the countless obstacles to business and job creation or the penalties for hiring a domestic worker.

9:27 - Billions more to the banks will create jobs because banks are only lending to big companies. Starved for profits, aren’t banks lending to any person of business that represents a good risk?

9: 29 - Tax credits to businesses (favored one’s, I’m sure).  The broken clock finally gets something right: “Let’s eliminate all capital gains taxes on small business investment, and provide a tax incentive…to invest in new plants and equipment.”

9:31 - Put Americans to work on infrastructure. Referenced light rail plan in Tampa that will only work with subsidies that hide the true cost. The repeated references to ‘infrastructure’ and ‘clean energy’ sound a lot like FDR’s make-work nonsense that EXTENDED the depression. Anyone who doesn’t believe Washington wants to EXTEND this recession/depression must admit the only alternative view: this president is an idiot. There is no other way to look at the deliberate repeating of horrible mistakes.

9:33 - “…it is time to finally slash the tax breaks for companies that ship our jobs overseas, and give those tax breaks to companies that create jobs right here in the United States of America.” in Reality-Based English:

It’s time to penalize companies government has forced overseas, and put a tariff on their goods raising prices on American citizens who want to buy from American-owner companies.  Brilliant.

9:36 - ‘The House has passed a bill granting government the authority to mess up the job situation further, and I encourage the Senate to do the same.’  Awesome.

9:38 - ‘People are out of work and they need our help’ Are you sure they don’t just need your boot off their necks?

Only government can help the unemployment situation that greed and the free market caused.

9:42 - ‘I was told addressing big issues like the economic road ahead was too ambitious. But I can solve any problem with Uncle Sam’s checkbook, and authority I don’t legally have.’

9:43 - Other nations are doing things and we will too, con sarnit! We aren’t going to wait. “As hard as it may be…it’s time to get serious about fixing the problems that are hampering our growth [except reducing the size, cost, and scope of government, those are perpetually good ideas].”

“One place to start is serious financial reform.” [Insert nonsense about what 'nearly brought down our economy]. Here comes the call for uber-regulation.

[Was away from keyboard for 8-10 minutes, but by the sound of my wife's groaning and yelling at the TV, I missed some really good (bad) stuff.]

9:57 - ‘We need to spend more tax payer money on community college.’

9:59 - ‘It is still vital that we socialize medicine. Let’s clear some things up. Here’s the deal (laughter indicates hilarity). The reason I took up this issue is because I’ve heard awful stories. The only way to improve health care is to force companies to do XY and Z. Increased competition that would offer enormous savings and better policies by eliminating the prohibition on companies selling to people in other states is a non-issue. The power of government is what’s important here. And although we have zero authority to do so, we’re going to keep fighting to nationalize medical care and hope the $1.2 trillion dollars it will cost will fall into our laps. Whatever the cost, I’m not walking away from [insert sad story].’

‘If you have a better idea, let me know (so I can pretend I didn’t hear it).’

[vomit break]

10:11 - Repeats the lie: “At the beginning of the last decade, America had a budget surplus of over $200 billion.” Yawn, then vomit. Refers to prior lie as ‘fact.’ Trillions in debt and the “surplus” fairy tale is still being told.

10:13 - ‘We added to the surplus but we had to because we needed to save the economy from the free market and greed. And remember, the bubble caused by state-mandated easy credit and manufactured wealth had nothing to do with government.’

10:52 - Mr. Obama just suggested that we “try common sense,” after pretending that his administration bears no responsibility for this massive deficit. He also said he hasn’t seated lobbyists in his administration, and has always been opposed to doing so, despite people like Eric Holder,  Tom Vilsack,  William Lynn, William Corr,  David Hayes, Mark Patterson, Ron Klain, Mona Sutphen, Melody Barnes, Cecilia Munoz, Patrick Gaspard, Michael Strautmanis being tapped or seated.

That last blatant lie pushed me over the edge. I can’t hear anymore. There are simply too any blatant lies coming forth from my television, and it is sickening.  In fairness, the SOTU Addresses held by the preceding president were equally dishonest and filled with as many infuriating calls for more government. I tire of the correcting the untruths, stomaching the lies, and listening to the poisoned concepts that government trumps freedom, and individualism is secondary to collectivism and statism.  I’ve recorded the program and may tackle the remainder when I have recovered.

The truth isn’t always pretty, popular, or palpable.  But it remains the truth.  In many areas, the truth is sacrificed for the closely guarded alternative realities of “conventional” wisdom; particularly in times like these.  As Senator Hiram Warren Johnson once said, “Truth is the first casualty of war.”

Indeed.

While the claim is rampant, and the sacredity of the cow unquestionable, the reality of our American military personnel is much different.  Those fighting a phantom enemy in Iraq and Afghanistan are not fighting for our freedom.  Those dying in those theaters of wartime absurdity have not been killed in the service of their country, nor have they made, as is often said, the ultimate sacrifice for we the living.

Though it is much less poetic, and devoid of the tearful, pride-swollen romance of popular sentiment, the dead Americans in the pointless and illegal conflict in Iraq, and the nation-building experiment in Afghanistan have died not for freedom, but for its opposite.  These lives have been sacrificed for government.  The deaths are part of a not-so-secret neo-conservative plan to remake the world in the shape of “big government conservatism,” (ala PNAC) and to give the United nations a permanent place in the Middle East, another swipe at US sovereignty and step giant leap toward global government.

There was never the slightest threat to U.S. national security posed by a prostrate Iraq, too weakened by sanctions to seriously concern any nation.  Without a threat, there can be no protection.  Without protection there is no glamorous hero’s death died by our betrayed countrymen.

The other war is at once different and similar.  It would matter were our focus on al-Qaeda.  But our military is instead focused on spraying Roundup on poppy fields (which drives up the price of heroin, and thus increases drug-related crime domestically), and chasing disorganized remnants of the Taliban, even after we trained an army and installed a government to do this very thing.

It will be said that some vast conspiracy succeeded in hiding the illusive WMDs in Iraq, and that the Taliban may justly be pursued unto the ends of the earth for harboring al-Qaeda operatives (apparently Pakistan harboring such terrorists is permissible).

Other than actually pursuing al-Qaeda in the months after 9/11, one would search in vain for a time since World War II that American military personnel died while protecting the rest of us from a real enemy.  This sad reality does not result in fewer claims to the contrary.

So on this Memorial Day, when we are asked to quietly believe the deceit of our “leaders,” and listen silently to the warm, fuzzy lies of all who wish to sound patriotic by repeating the fictions that allow the state to demand more pointless deaths, we should pause to reflect on the reality.  We should neither weep in silence, nor nod in agreement.  We should instead demand a return to the just war theory, and insist that elected officials charged with commanding our brave men and women in uniform place them in harm’s way solely in the defense of the Republic; not for the benefit of foreign tyrants, blue flags of despotism, or the revived, frightening call for empire.

Enter U.S. President and flawless messiah, Barack Obama.

Turns out, gaffing the economy, blaming everyone but the guilty (government), destroying industry, playing God, and attempting to outmaneuver umutable, natural laws is a dirty job, but, sadly, somebody’s got to do it.

That this latest incarnation of  a state power is a liar is plain to see, and saying so should shock no one outside cave dwellings.  But the blatancy has become similar to the examples in the opening paragraph.  The latest whopper doubtless caused many a double take, and an instant did he really say that? check.

He doesn’t like to meddle in the free market.

During a another discourse in patent dishonesty, the unabashed socialist-cum-fascist made the following statements, presumably with a straight face:

If you could tell me right now that when I walked into this office, that the banks were humming, that autos were selling, and that all you had to worry about was Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea, getting health care passed, figuring out how to deal with energy independence, deal with Iran, and a pandemic flu, I would take that deal.

I want to disabuse people of this notion that somehow we enjoy, you know, meddling in the private sector.
The best way to accomplish such a feat would be to stop doing it, or at least stop smiling as you pillage away accomplishment and pretend to wield more power than the natural laws of mathematics, economics, and human desire.

And that’s why I’m always amused when I hear these, you know, criticisms of, oh, you know, Obama wants to grow government. No. I would love a nice, lean portfolio to deal with, but that’s not the hand that’s been dealt us.

Yes, Mr. President, critics calling things exactly the way they exist in reality is hilarious. Laugh it up, buddy.  History will rightly remember you as the destroyer of free enterprise, the man who murdered the greatest system in the greatest country in history. And you dealt the hand.

So Mr. Obama would take a deal that allowed him a little extra time to focus on complete economic fascism, and destruction of only these select areas of illegality?  Of course he would.  He’s in no hurry.  The next crisis will afford government the opportunity to use it’s reverse-Midas Touch on other industries.  What’s the rush?  He has eight years to corral the entirety of the free market, and transform it into a motionless pile of socialist stagnation.

To paraphrase this insane megalomaniac:

If I could illegally use the power, might, and economic strength of this government to insert my opinion into places from which it is Constitutionally forbidden, pretend I am a king, rather than a President, continue illegal, undeclared wars and further weaken the dollar through unlawful nation building, pretend government can solve every issue and that I have extensive medical knowledge, uproot the medical ingenuity tree that is free market health care, blame everything possible on the concept of liberty, and use government to try to solve an energy issue that government created, I would.

I hate to meddle.

Clinton blamed the violence on America’s desire for intoxicants and the lack of American gun control.

“Our insatiable demand for illegal drugs fuels the drug trade,” she said. “Our inability to prevent weapons from being illegally smuggled across the border to arm these criminals causes the deaths of police officers, soldiers and civilians.”

There was no mention of our insatiable demand for more government to deal with every issue, or our inability to demand that government officials read and obey the Constitution they have sworn allegiance to.  But more government is, of course the only answer she and her ilk are capable of offering.  Had the Secretary not been calling for the Almighty State to “do something,” she wouldn’t have been speaking.

What Mrs. Clinton doubtless realizes and pretends not to is that people the world over seek various levels and types of intoxication, and have since time immemorial. No amount of government intervention is going to change that.  People have always sought to alter their consciousness, whether seeking the relaxation from the alcohol gleaned from fermented sugar, the energetic stimulation of coffee beans, coca leaves, etc., or the “mind expanding” hallucinations of various plants and chemicals.

Drugs, once discovered, are not going to be forgotten.  And the idea that government can combat desire is about as foolish as ideas come.  Stiffer penalties, eradication programs, and more criminalization only succeeds in wasting money and reducing the supply of drugs, which drives up the price and increases drug-related crime.  With increased crime government pretends its way out of blame and calls for more money, programs and laws, and the cycle is repeated.  And the sheeple clamor for more.

As to our gun problem, we simply don’t have one.  What we have is a backward, hopelessly corrupt “justice system” that does little or nothing to prevent violent crime, puts zero focus on restitution, and ensures that those guilty of force and fraud are released while those dealing in the commerce of plant matter remain in cages.

With violent criminals come weapons.  The concept that the law abiding, non-violent public should be disarmed as a way to reduce the violent tendencies of the criminal class is absurd prima facia and enjoys attempted justification only by the criminal class of government who pretend to offer people safety from their non-government criminal cousins.  While guns are a tool of criminal gangs, they are also a tool of protection for the non-criminal. As with drugs, weapons will be obtained by those who want them regardless of the number of laws passed, or penalties promised.

Mrs. Clinton seems to be blaming the state as a pretext from which this Administration’s statist trap can be sprung on the American people. Government hasn’t done enough, is the implication. And we have one eager to do more. Much more.

Having gone through the illusions, let us sample the reality.

Last fall, the Mexican government had a foolproof plan in motion to stop the drug violence.  The proposed legislative changes would have immediately removed the profit with which the violent drug cartels were built and maintained.  As Mexico moved toward decriminalizing “illicit” drugs, a panicked U.S. government–clearly concerned that the simple truth of economics would expose the fraud that our own drug war is–put enormous pressure on the Mexican government to abandon the idea.  And like an obedient dog, Mexico listened without complaint.

The U.S. encouraged Mexico to follow our shining example of violent coercion and endless budgets that have resulted in the abysmal failure of that is the Drug War.  It’s broke, so don’t fix it.

Prohibition Economics 101

Drug gangs, on either side of the border, exist because of the huge profits that are realized in a black market.  When a thing becomes illegal, it doesn’t go away, it just becomes expensive.   Those dealing in illegal objects, information, or substances are taking a much greater risk than a man selling vegetables, for example.  As the risk increases, so must the reward; hence the high prices of illegal drugs.

For every thing the government outlaws, a new black market is created.  When operating outside of the law, there are no contracts, agreements, arbitration, or court rooms.  Areas of operation, or “turf,” asking prices, and type of drugs sold are often agreed upon intra-criminally. But as in any business, disputes arise.  Without a legal system or enforceable arbitration, gangs have only the choice between surrender, and violence.

Decriminalizing drugs would immediately end the profits of those involved in the drug trade, from smugglers, to violent drug gangs government claims to oppose, to street corner dealers.  Continuing the absurdity that is our wealth-wasting Drug War creates and maintains the drug economy. In short, prohibition creates, then maintains a new class of criminal.

The massive violence that grew out of alcohol prohibition died with the repeal of the 18th Amendment, while that of drug prohibition remains, and is expanding is size, scope, and sophistication. “Staying the course” in the Drug War means that government will continue to toss good money after bad, and legislate away more liberty, “for the children,” or “for the greater good.”  It also means that the dead people on both sides will be replaced, and that the hopeless, pointless war on drugs war on people will continue.

Yes, Mrs. Clinton, the U.S. is certainly to blame. But not for the sophomoric reasons you came up with.

The AP is reporting that:

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said Monday that the severe banking crisis shows the U.S. financial system failed a major test and is in need of an overhaul.

Geithner told a Washington conference that the Obama administration plans to work with Congress to put in place a stronger, more stable system with a modernized government regulatory structure.

“Our system basically failed its most fundamental test,” he said in remarks to a conference sponsored by the Wall Street Journal. “It was too fragile.”

Spot on, Tim! If you meant any of that in a real-world, spot-the-obvious, why-is this elephant-in-the-room sort of way, well, you’d be asked to give your Workers of the World Unite card back. In reality, those truly interested in economic recovery do not find themselves in an alliance with Mr. Geithner.  Rather he is laying new ground in the field of logical fallacies.

Coming close and missing by miles has become a recent trademark for Geithner:

In his appearance Monday night, Geithner said it was critical that the government make the needed reforms.

“The world is watching us to see if we have the will and ability to fix this,” he said.

He called it a “terrible, tragic thing” that the country did not have better tools such as the power to take over major institutions when the crisis hit with force last fall.

The terrible tragedy is that the country is not in possession of more than one leader willing to try freedom for a change.  The travesty of ignorance or deliberate sabotage is that Obama, Geithner, & Co. are hard at work blaming the free market for the ill-effects of central banking, state-created boom and bust cycles, absurd regulations, and forced loans made with easy money and baseless credit.

They might as well hang the Kennedy assassination on the Magna Carta, and ban the NYSE to ensure future political murders are rendered impossible. To the new destroyers at the helm the best way to combat a raging inferno is to pay the original arsonist to set more and larger fires, ensuring complete destruction.

The proper “actions” and “reforms” government should take are simple and easily calculable: slash spending, and get the hell out of the way.  But this administration has thus far declared war on logic, and have raked over the breadcrumbs that lead from this crisis to the childish government that left them as it seeks out fear-induced demons to slay with the gavel of declaratory idiocy.

With a messianic president and his angelic guard swearing to the existence of Freedom Phantoms that feed on the flesh and prosperity of the nation, the salvation of reason can only be found in action: a concerted and heart-felt promise to replace any reactionary idiots in either House of Congress who assist with the de factco transformation of the once great Republic into a socialist cesspool of abject poverty.

Comrades Obama and Geithner must be made aware that runaway government, not the free market, caused, and worsened this crisis, and that only capitalism, not corporatism, socialism, or a fundamental and overt shift toward European-style soft Marxism, is capable of righting the ship of American economic power.

It is safe to assume that exactly zero Obama voters ever considered the possibility of their man playing the same role.  They probably don’t see it now, either.

The mainstream media’s excitement over the new Administration’s “reversals” of Bush policy is the stuff of headlines, comedy show monologues, and supporter’s bloviations. But despite the droning on about such decisions, the Obama Administration has–in most major areas–parroted the arrogant and unlawful policies of its predecessor.

In the foreign policy arena, Obama and company have promised to copy the Iraq surge in Afghanistan, spending countless billions more in cash and untold quantities of American blood for increasingly vague objectives.  The Afghan theater spilling into Pakistan is almost a foregone conclusion.  And despite sincere-sounding rhetoric, we aren’t exactly rushing out of the abortion the U.S. has made of Iraq.

Obamanomics needs no explanation, and can enjoy no justification.  But for every right-winger shouting “Marxist!” there are three stubborn examples of Bush 43’s abject socialism, indulgent squandering, and exponential government growth.

So-called conservatives (whatever that word means in the post-Bush era) are vocally, and legitimately, if hypocritically, concerned about Obama’s plans to tax and spend, expand government, and gut the Constitution.   But it seems such misdeeds don’t count when political and economic tyranny is perpetuated by a Republican the media’s broken compass has signaled as “a staunch conservative” and “strict constructionist.”  To the alleged Right, it is the letter that decides the morality of positions, rather than actions: a (D) apparently means “Damn communist!” while an (R) indicaties, “Right on, man!”

The sad reality is that anyone remotely concerned with a healthy economy, the continued survival of a partially-free market, or the rule of law, should be too hoarse from calling for Bush’s head for the past eight years to say much of anything.  Those who didn’t certainly have no room to admonish Obama for sins he has not yet committed.

Fortunately as one who recognized the Bush fraud very early, and who experienced daily blood pressure spikes from continued subjugation to W’s endless stream of lies and shattered promises, I am exercising my reserved right to verbally accost this administration and predict the worst kind of governance–a lot of it.  Unlike the denizens of  hypocrisy that compose the rank-and-file Republicans, I do not spell tyranny f-r-e-e-d-o-m when a Republican dons the jack boots.

Despite the little Easter eggs of difference that will be played up by the media’s abysmal huger for sensationalism and division, this administration will likely do a great service to the cause of freedom by slaying once and for all the perpetual myth that any true and substantive differences exist between the two major political parties.

Important stuff, that.

This might be forgivable were we in a slow news year with readers tire of hearing about the social and economic utopia, lack of dead Americans, jobs apleanty fed by diminutive taxations, etc.  But with a plan at the cliff’s edge that will finish off the dollar, a fresh new “surge” in the works for the abysmal failure that is the Afghan war, and statist policies offering endless kicks to the ribs of Liberty, Time is seriously reporting on governmental soft drink preferences. And it isn’t a two-sentence blurb, either.

Michael Scherer cranked out a detailed nine-paragrapher–The Obama Team’s Drink of Choice? Coke, Not Pepsi–that chronicled his investigative journalistic skills, telling of his exploits in the White House recycle bins, revealing the product of crunched numbers, and gifting faithful readers with in-depth analysis of carbonated beverage choices among those currently sporting the jackboots of power.

It is good to know that is such perilous times, the watch dogs at the world’s last (fairly) free press are doing their jobs.  Riveting stuff.

But lest Time be alone relegated to the ninth circle of journalistic hell, this writer would be blissfully ignorant that this steaming pile of irrelevance existed were it not for comanies like Yahoo, whose “news” division thought this tripe to be not only newsworthy, but the sixth most important thing happening in the world as of 2:13 am, February 28th.